What Does codependency Mean
The idea of codependency is not part of the dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy ( RAE ). The concept, however, is often used in the field of psychology .
We speak of codependency to refer to the psychological disorder characterized by an excessive and inappropriate concern for the situation of other individuals . The person, in this way, puts aside their inconveniences and their problems to focus on the resolution of someone else's conflicts.
Codependency can be forged with a partner, a friend, or any member of the family. Even this condition can develop with respect to a cause that attracts all the interest and concern.
The codependent adopts a messianic role and tries to save someone who suffers from a difficulty. In fact, it is common for them to seek to forge a bond with those who are going through a bad time in order to come to their rescue .
According to psychologists, with codependency, the subject wants his presence to become indispensable . When the other does not react in the desired way, the codependent experiences great frustration that can lead to depression or to adopt violent attitudes , for example.
Ultimately, it can be said that codependency affects the man or woman who dedicates their effort and time to solving the complications of others, neglecting their own situation. The codependent, in this context, has a tendency to relate to those who suffer the most setbacks since he tries to generate the fact of positioning himself as a savior, even at the cost of ignoring his personal vicissitudes.
To get to this point it is necessary that the subject has lived a series of experiences that have marked him very deeply. Regarding the type of experiences, they depend on each individual, although it is possible to generalize that it is a lack of attention on the part of those who were responsible for protecting him throughout his childhood, something that leads him to try to repair that damage by doing exactly the opposite with another person: protecting them too much, even if they don't ask.
As mentioned in a previous paragraph, the lack of gratitude on the part of the person who receives your help or the differences in the results from what you have planned from the beginning can cause great frustration and lead you to act in different ways , even contrary to their original intentions. The complexity of a relationship in which codependency occurs is potentially considerable, especially when it comes to the first relationship in the life of someone who becomes obsessed with helping the other.
It is very difficult to anticipate his reactions and actions, particularly if he reaches that point where he becomes violent against his supposed recipient of help. The subject can experience an apparently impossible void to fill if he sees that the other person does not come out of his well, because in her he had placed all his hopes of saving himself, of living through her what he could not in his past, and this supposes a double failure to him.
All this shows us that individuals who practice codependency do not have bad intentions but cannot think or act with a clear mind. For this reason and also for the safety of those who may become a victim of their aggressions, it is recommended to go to a mental health professional as soon as we detect certain obsessive attitudes on the part of someone who presents himself as our savior. The clearest signs are a spontaneous initiative on his part to help us even before we ask him and an insistence that he does not take no for an answer.